Transgender Student Takes Steps to Be the Man He Wants to Be

Feeling out of place is familiar for biological sciences major Kaiden Hower. As a transgender teen, he felt like an outcast in high school, but now, as a Northampton Community College (NCC) student, he’s where he can be who he was meant to be. 

Hower was assigned female at birth and was named Emily by his adoptive parents, but he always felt that he was male.

“I’ve known since I was 5 or 6 that I was male,” Hower says. “I remember telling my friends in kindergarten, ‘Hey, I’m a boy.’ They were like, ‘Okay, whatever.’ I never liked girl things and hated wearing dresses or skirts. I liked blue, not pink, and playing with trucks and cars. I always thought in my head that I was a boy.”

Hower “came out,” as defined by identifying as a male when he was around 14 years old and began taking female hormone blocker medication at age 16. While his elementary friends didn’t care, his older peers weren’t as accepting. Around this time, he also began dressing in the gothic style, wearing all black clothing and sporting piercings and tattoos.

“In high school, I was avoided fully,” Hower says. “I didn’t have many friends.”

Teased and ridiculed, he felt alone and had to work through his feelings of self-doubt and insecurity by himself, which was very difficult. He often felt depressed and considered self-harm. Now, he is more secure in himself and doesn’t care what others think about him.

At NCC, he no longer feels like an outsider. Neither professors nor fellow students seem to care how he looks. 

“My classmates are nice and accepting,” he says. “My professors have never had a problem with it.”

One of his professors even shared that her child is non-binary.

“She was awesome,” he says. “After almost every class, I would have conversations with her. She understood what I was experiencing.”

In October, at age 19, Hower started taking testosterone, beginning his physical transformation into a man. Since then, his voice has become deeper, his hair has thickened, and he is beginning to have peach fuzz on his face. 

Female-to-male testosterone therapy, or T therapy, is a treatment to induce “masculine” physical traits while suppressing “feminine” ones. T therapy is also called masculinizing hormone therapy, cross-sex hormone therapy, testosterone-based hormone therapy, and gender-affirming hormone therapy. It can be used to treat gender dysphoria, the feeling of discomfort or distress that occurs in people whose gender identity is different from the sex assigned at birth. The diagnosis of gender dysphoria allows people with gender dysphoria  to access necessary healthcare and effective treatment. 

Hower likens T therapy to experiencing puberty all over again because his voice dropped, and he has acne. Still, he is happy to take positive steps toward having a physical appearance that matches how he sees himself.

Feeling comfortable and accepted at NCC has allowed Hower to concentrate on his goals. Majoring in biological sciences is the first step toward a career as a virologist, a physician, scientist, or researcher who specializes in viruses. Virologists usually study specific viruses, diagnose and treat viral infections, or develop vaccines or antiviral medications. He hopes to work in a lab with other scientists who he believes will be accepting of him. 

After graduating from NCC, Hower plans to complete bachelor’s and master’s degrees. Many virologists have a doctorate degree. He understands that the education needed to be a virologist is costly, which is another reason he chose to come to NCC. 

“I have to pay for my education myself,” says Hower, who also delivers for DoorDash to help cover his expenses. “Becoming a virologist will involve years and years of education. I will incur a lot of debt, but I want to pay for as much of it as I can.”

In the meantime, Hower is doing his best to live his best life and encourage others who feel they were born into the wrong body – or anyone who feels like an outcast – to do likewise.

“I would tell them to live their lives for themselves,” he says. “If you feel you should make a change, and it’s a healthy change, do it. You should live your life for yourself and what makes you happy.” 

If he needs reminding to follow his own advice, he can simply look at his arm, where he has a tattoo that says, “Look at the sky tonight. All of the stars have a reason to shine, a reason like mine.”